Author Molly Srode introduces her book on Spiritual Retirement with these words: “As the New Year dawns crisp and clear, a bell goes off inside my head. Rather, it is more like an alarm….Passing another decade, I see my life very much like a car that has a quarter tank of gas left. Three options loom ahead. I could just keep going until I run completely out of gas. I could park the car along the side of the road, hoping that I will never use up the fuel, or I could acknowledge that the tank has a limited supply of gas and make plans about where I need to go. My choice is the latter, and now I have to decide where and how far I go with my quarter tank of gas.”
With Srode’s words in mind let’s look over at those ten attendants waiting for the bridal party. They are in a similar predicament not knowing how much time they have or how much fuel they will need for the responsibilities that lie ahead. Wisdom advises the attendants and the author to make decisions about these matters so they can prepare. All will need fuel. The element of time is a complete mystery in both cases. Still, they need to be ready.
Life presents us with unknowable realities and also with limits. Still we have to make decisions that will determine the course of our lives and the quality of our experiences. We instinctively look for signs. Our inner compass, which is the light of Wisdom within us, draws our hearts toward people and places that resonate with something deep inside. Wisdom lights the path that leads to fulfillment of our soul’s purpose, though we don’t always take it. Sometimes we choose a path through the dark woods instead not realizing how desperately we are relying on that inner light to help us find our way home. As we learn to move in step with Wisdom, the light within grows stronger. If we move out of step it grows dimmer, but it never goes away. The light within us is God’s own life, and it never leaves us. It never dies.
Learning to move in step with Wisdom is a never-ending challenge. There are so many distractions and so many unruly impulses that are a natural part of being human. Wisdom is “radiant and unfading” as we heard in our first reading, and “easily found by those who seek her” but there are times when we aren’t motivated seekers. Sometimes we just want to be in the world and do what the world does—we get lazy or greedy, or caught up in some distraction that clouds our awareness of Spirit altogether. The foolish attendants in Jesus’ parable got distracted from their call to serve as points of light in the darkness. They showed up half empty and were not prepared to light the way for those who were relying on them. They got distracted and let Wisdom’s light grow so dim it became unavailable for others. When they arrived at the door, late and begging to come in, their light was so dim they couldn’t even be seen.
Keeping vigil for Wisdom’s sake is especially necessary in times of major transition. In the midst of chaotic change the usual road signs either don’t work or have been torn down. People fumble in the dark, unable to find their way. The confusion and anxiety creates its own kind of darkness and people will believe almost anything that promises some measure of peace and comfort, even when the promises themselves lack credibility. Keeping vigil for Wisdom’s sake is the task of the disciple, creating points of clarity in the darkness. We keep vigil by having enough fuel to keep our own light brightly lit throughout the long, dark night
As the church year comes to a close we are reminded of ‘end times.’ Jesus in Matthew’s gospel is coming to the end of his own life. He has been trying to get this point across to the disciples but they, like most of us, don’t want to hear about or face such a painful bit of news. But he feels an urgency to prepare them. He has foretold the destruction of the Temple. He has warned them about false prophets who will try to deceive them, enticing them to turn their backs on the Wisdom of their hearts. He talks about ‘the end of the age.’ He tells them a parable about sheep and goats, wanting them to understand how vital it is they recognize the face of God in the poor, the hungry, the prisoner, the stranger. God, the king in the parable, tells them “whatever you do to the least of these brothers and sisters of mine you do to me.” It is his final message before he is anointed for death by a woman in Bethany and betrayed by Judas to the authorities. He wants his disciples to practice the deeds of love toward those around them, especially those hardest to love, and this will be the fuel that keeps their lamps burning through the seemingly endless night. They are to be wise. They are to cultivate the light of Wisdom in their hearts by opening to the God presence within them. They are to be part of the procession of Light, accompanying the people, lighting the way.
We, too, are called to light up the darkness in our own time. How do you insure you have enough fuel? What opens your heart and replenishes your hope? What keeps Wisdom’s light dancing in your soul? Is it a walk in the rain? A day at the beach? Calling a friend? Serving food to the hungry in a soup kitchen? Collecting clothing for people on the street as winter approaches? Do you make a habit of reading books that inspire you? Do you meditate or spend regular time in prayer? Are you generous with your time and give out of the goodness of your heart? What refuels the light of compassion within you? Where do you go to replenish the oil for the lamp of your soul? How much gas is left in your car? What light can you bring to these times?
Leave a Reply